12 rules for our child's eats 🍳🥑🍠
The Gist: Drawn from randomized control trials, Montessori philosophy, and our own experience.
These 12 rules may not be as far-reaching as Jordan Peterson’s, but they’re helpful reminders (on a magnet on our refrigerator) for how we’re operating in this stage of our life as parents.
Figure. A very distinguished gentleman enjoying his midday supper.
Establish a consistent mealtime routine to help create a sense of predictability and structure ⌚ Encourages healthy eating habits & makes it easier for him to recognize hunger & fullness cues
Comment: Also good for mom and dad!
Engage Knox in food prep & always narrate. As he develops motor skills, involve him in simple tasks, such as washing fruits or stirring ingredients. This engagement fosters a sense of responsibility, encourages independence, and can help develop a greater interest in the foods he eats 👨🍳
Comment: Narrate meaning constantly talk to your child about what you’re doing in order to expand his vocabulary and build your relationship.
Before each meal, pray with Knox to give him an additional chance to touch base with God 🙏
Comment: Sometimes we’ll read something special and beautiful, other times we’ll just thank God for our life’s bounty and ask for His guidance of ourselves and people we know
When feeding solids, always seat him at his chair & table with his back against the wall for proper support 🪑
Comment: At least at home, Knox has a table and chair at his size (no high chair). Underlying the Montessori philosophy is the idea that even very small children are capable - but the world isn’t built for them.
Serve him his food with real but appropriately sized plates, glasses, and utensils when he is ready. Prep him for real life, self control 🥄
Comment: In other words, Knox gets a shot glass, not a sippy cup - and its breakability is a feature, not a bug. It’s about teaching consequences early and, again, preparing for future stage of life.
Try to feed him the food as close to its natural form as possible. Make sure it isn’t a choking hazard, but don’t mash and puree foods just for the sake of it. More true as he ages. 🌶️
Comment: If the food can be about the size of one of your fingers, that certainly makes it easier. And regardless of the prep, you still need to keep an eye on the little fellow!
To encourage variety & embrace autonomy, consider giving Knox as many as 3 different foods to choose between, with different textures, forms, and providing different nutrients. But only test one potential allergen at a time 🥕🍏🥚
Comment: And really, only one allergen in any given day. You want to see the reaction.
Research shows that “coercive feeding” is counter-productive & makes a child more likely to refuse food over time. Give Knox his plate, help him if he needs it, watch him to make sure he isn’t in distress, but don’t coerce, cajole, bribe, or otherwise pressure him to eat. Best: “Try this”, “You may like this because…” Practice your poker face & discuss his dislikes out of earshot so as not to unintentionally discourage him 🃏
Comment: Starting early, we all have a deep desire for autonomy and leaning into that choice seems to yield better results. And don’t imagine that a little one can’t intuit what you’re saying or signaling through your body language! All the talking and reading you’re doing is based on a hope that he does understand.
If he starts to throw his food, ask him if he is done and then, if he persists, take his plate away. He will eventually learn that food is for eating and that he has a defined opportunity for it. “The adult is in charge of what their baby eats, where they eat, and eventually when they eat. How much they eat is up to the child.” Early on into introducing solids, meals are more about exploration than nutrition
Comment: The quote is from Montessori Baby and gets at trying to respect autonomy but encourage responsibility and self-control.
Especially for bitter vegetables & other less popular foods, repeated exposure over a week or two can teach the baby to like the taste. In other words, offer Knox the same thing 7 days in a row (except fish: do not offer that more 2x a week) 🐟
Comment: The reason for the fish rule is mercury content but as a landlubber it also strikes me as eminently reasonable
Offer Knox some water at mealtimes, even if it is just a couple drops on a spoon 💧
Comment: Get your kid used to hydration! Proper amount of water for you, an adult, means 30%+ increase in various cognitive tasks.
Keep a sponge or cleaning rag on Knox’s table so he can watch you slowly clean up the food mess. This helps with his concentration and sense of order. Eventually, let him do it! 🧽
Comment: Take advantage of a child’s curiosity when he is young to get him to help and build a habit for life!
At the end of some of our previous correspondence, we touched on how breastfeeding during a child’s first year is correlated with better outcomes (so we’re pursuing that and wondering how weaning off will go), Americans underfeed their babies meat (which is good for brain development), and a few other items.
Beyond a regular supply of magical breastmilk, we’re giving Knox the opportunity to explore basically every vegetable (though currently navigating how to introduce kale without it being a choking hazard) and having done so first because the taste is more bitter than fruit. Naturally, Knox does very much like fruit (though, actually so far, he seems to like everything) - but we’re also trying to be mindful of glycemic index to manage any potential energy spikes. Knox is part of the 17% of babies getting meat, especially eggs. And then otherwise he gets a smattering of whole wheat and dairy (though cow’s milk not until after a year old) and a vitamin D supplement. If food can match mom and dad’s meal, it may be more of interest. If you want your child to eat healthy, start with modeling it yourself.
We’ve also been doing exposure to allergens - and if there’s no reaction to repeated exposure, seems great! A non-exhaustive list of apparently common ones that we’ve been working our way through: Celery, Crustaceans (lobster, shrimp, crabs, prawns), Eggs, Fish (Bass, Flounder, Cod, Salmon, etc.), Lupin, Molluscs (mussels, snails, squid), Mustard, Nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, walnuts, cashews, pecan nuts, Brazil nuts, pistachio nuts, macadamia or Queensland nuts.), Peanut. Sesame seeds, Sulfur dioxide (Sulphites are preservatives, used in dried fruit, meat products and vegetables as well as in wine and beer.), Soya (Soy products), Gluten (found made with flour like bread and pasta); Cow Milk.
Celery. Who knew?
Finally, we ask ourselves: if you are going to introduce food not on this list:
What is the purpose of introducing this food?
What nutrients does it provide?
What is its glycemic index? (Manage Knox’s energy)
Is there any evidence online that the food may not be good for a newborn?
If it’s not healthy for an adult, is it worthwhile?
What form is it best to serve it in? Is it a choking hazard?